Every commitment we make in life shares the same powerful secret sauce - that thing that makes them work powerfully and contribute to our living vibrant lives - or the absence of which makes those commitments brutally difficult and less likely to last.
More than ever before, we are finding it difficult to succeed at the commitments we make. Marriages, friendships, parenting, weight loss, career development, innovative change, new adventures and more - all these share at least one secret sauce:
90% is Brutal; 100% is a Breeze
A person who is 90% committed to their marriage partner will have a brutal time navigating disappointment, conflict, hurts and hang ups, while the person who is all-in and fully committed for life finds those same challenges exponentially easier to navigate. They experience more joy, love, friendship and power.
The person who is cutting back on French fries, ice cream and sodas will fight for every pound they lose, experience supremely frustrating temptation, and, almost always, limited success. But the person who is all in on the extreme nutrition decision has an easier time. Why? They have made a commitment and taken several temptations completely off the table. They are not making decisions at every meal - they are executing decisions they’ve already made.
The person who decides every Sunday morning whether they will go to church or not will attend about 12 times per year and struggle to find life in a community of faith. But the person who has decided that church is “what we do on Sundays” will attend between 36 and 40 times per year and find their spiritual life more vibrant and joyful.
Here is the deal: get in or get out. Never dabble with a half-hearted or even ¾-hearted commitment. People who are mostly committed are miserable. People who are fully committed find success and joy because everything is just details, not a renegotiation of what decision they will make.
One more secret? A balanced life is not moderation in every direction - it is 100% commitment in every direction. A balanced person is extremely committed to all of their commitments, or they don’t make them at all. Balance is being zealous in every direction...but that is a blog for another day.